Walk away and come back when the mood has shifted.

If your attempts to please arenвЂ™t working or arenвЂ™tВ lasting for very long, maybe itвЂ™s time to stop. Toxic people figured out a long time ago that decent people will go to extraordinary lengths to keep the people they care about happy. When this happens, you might find yourself making excuses for them or doing everything you can to make them happy. The вЂjust enoughвЂ™ might be a heaving sigh, a raised eyebrow, a cold shoulder. They might be prickly, sad, cold or cranky and when you ask if thereвЂ™s something wrong, the answer will likely be вЂnothingвЂ™ вЂ“ but theyвЂ™ll give you just enough to let you know that thereвЂ™s something. There often isnвЂ™t anything obvious that willВ explain the change of attitude вЂ“ you just know something isnвЂ™t right. TheyвЂ™ll be completely lovely one day and the next youвЂ™ll be wondering what youвЂ™ve done to upset them. TheyвЂ™ll keep you guessingВ about which version of them youвЂ™re getting.Knowing them will help you to avoid falling under the influence: There are plenty of things toxic people do to manipulate people and situations to their advantage. You might not be able to change what they do, but you can change what you do with it, and any idea that toxic somebody in your lifeВ might have that they can get away with it. Their damage lies in their subtlety and the way they can engender that classic response, вЂItвЂ™s not them, itвЂ™s me.вЂ™ They can have you questioning your вЂover-reactivenessвЂ™, your вЂoversensitivityвЂ™, your вЂtendency to misinterpretвЂ™.В If youвЂ™re the one whoвЂ™s continually hurt, or the one who is constantlyВ adjusting your own behaviour to avoid being hurt, then chances are that itвЂ™s not you and itвЂ™s very much them.Д«eing able to spot their harmful behaviour is the first step to minimising their impact. Sometimes itвЂ™s more like aВ drenching.В Difficult people are drawn to the reasonable ones and all of us have likelyВ had (or have) at least one person in our lives who have us bending around ourselves like barbed wireВ in endless attempts to please them вЂ“ only to never really get there. We have all had toxic people dust us with their poison.

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